I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I believe in your delicious
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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