tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
