All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
