You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize