His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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