I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We left the knife in your bed.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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