Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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