even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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