You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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