Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
