i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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