she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
