Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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