just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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