i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
