Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
