i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
