Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
