Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize