respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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