I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
