Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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