The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Its about making memories worth repressing
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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