nut hugger
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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