I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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