ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm always down for nudity.
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