Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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