im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize