I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
