shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
