mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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