whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
