Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
