All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
