i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
