my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
3 2 1 whiskey
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
