Swine flu. Run for my life!
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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