we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
