I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
my liver is dry heaving
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
