wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
