I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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