Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
