let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
