it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
