I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
