went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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