you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
