Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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