i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
