Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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