it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
