She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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