Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Im part way to drunk.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
