went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
