I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
