Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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