And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
