I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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