Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize